Pushing on

i wan to say im really tired.
the temptation of giving up is so great..

trying to push on...

back from a break

well, finally i got my result, about few weeks ago, i still feel darn nervous,
i thought i will flunk the entire course.
4 module, got a couple of Bs... a C, not a good result to be proud of.
the least, i got my prayers answered...

but its never been easy, coping with money woes, work stress, peer pressure, plus some reservist training. i cant deny the fact that, i cant stop myself thinking of the past luxury that i used to enjoy.
however what ever happens, just try to keep myself on the track.

next sem i have 5 modules coming up, dont expect this to be another walk in the park.
this is personal, dont expect any help from others...
at least i can still tell myself, its not so bad at all...


lasty, i still look forward for the taiwan trip that charlie was talking about.
hopefully i'll get my 13th mth in dec and by that time i will have enough leave to go for a decent holiday.

so wat when u fall? get up, life still have to go on..

So what when everything seem to be down and what ever you done seems to be failing.
life still got to goes on.

Learn your lesson and move on man...

Tomorrow will be a better day!

back with more whinings

its been long since i last wrote something, exams been keeping me busy for the last few weeks.
i don't want to talk about the exam, cause i know i most likely flunk the 1st two papers.
to tell you all the truth, of nobody in my office have yet to know that....



im actually looking for another job.
im looking for MarCom (Marketing Communication) position.
the reason that im looking for another position is actually because i have simply seem enough of this political shit that my current company is having. the funny thing is i seen a Manager sack off a asst Manager just because of him not getting in good terms with her. Where the hell, can this kinda thing happen in any other corporate desk? this manager is not using her ability to promote, simply using her boot licking skills to become a manager. Everyday keep kaypoh about things that doesnt concern her. and im not talking about my manager, she's have no right to question about me. my direct boss is even Senior than her.

seriously, i dont want others to see me weak, as in i cant stays in a place for long.
another reason is that im looking for this position is because, i want to do something related to my field of studies. because if i graduate from my degree, i will still get a fresh graduate pay just because the reason that i having irrelevant work experience.

yes, i sound impatient, and im infact a very very impatient person. i dont like to waste time doing something worthless. i hate being unapreciated, i hate doing so much in the end fingers start pointing at me. i hate wasting time and effort. i believe this is a peak that i must work hard in now, not later.

exams!

mugging time, in two weeks i going to have my 1st paper of my 1st sem...
well, overall its still manageable... all i know is that my process's is too slow.
i didnt really study much these days, next 2nd i have a MCQ question about
action learning.

darn i didnt even touch that...

well... good news is that my project in my office should be ending by this week. if nothing crop up. hope it wont mess up my exam...

well, it just sometime i just feel that these things i have end, nobody seen or appreciate it...
though there's time i feel shitty, i just tell myself, the reason im here, is for an objective.
and the objective is to study through my course for 3 years and at the same time i will look out for more chance to jump.
i can feel my confidence is slipping away bit by bit. need some moral booster somehow...
hopefully i can get my 7th leave and lets party on the sixth!

Apology

i feel alittle stress out after doing all so many assignment... now its my turn to study for exams.... really hope i can pull through this.... sorry for the outburst, i need to control my emotion.
btw friends, i wont forget you all, you people are just like my sisters and brothers, see you on 6th of may my dearies!

Cant's stand it... really

i dont understand, why cant people try to understand before they make conclusion to judge me? somebody who have with me all 23 yrs of my freaking life dont really know what i really want? why can people really understand why i behave this way, am i under a very heavy stress? do i need some time to be alone. im having the hardest time of my life now, why can i have some support instead of criticism? do you think i love to write all this?

why is that someone that is closest to me keep putting me down? i really want to get out of this home, which i dont really think its a home at all to me.